Score: not very pretty.
Let me explain something about my son here ... he's not spoiled. He's not the way he is because he's special or because I have let him act like this.
He's ... just Jacob. If everybody would accept that he is the way he is, life would be easier.
Jacob has sensory integration disorder. You know how when you run your fingernails on a chalkboard, it bothers you? Imagine that ... except worse, and you don't know how to deal with it.
Some things in his life .. just ... bother him. And he doesn't know how to deal with it.
Toe socks, Buttons, Snaps, Zippers ... these are all in this category. They just bother him to an extreme that he doesn't know how to process.
We've come such a long way.
Mom: Jacob, it's time to go.
Jacob: alright.
[Snapping seatbelt on]
Jacob: {breathing deep} it's not in order!!!!
This used to confuse me, now it doesn't. He's not hysterical, Yet. But he's close. His problem is simple, his seat belt is twisted, not straight. If I fix it, we can go on, and life is great.
If I am in a hurry, and leave it alone, his mental process overloads and we have a meltdown ... and it will continue until either his seatbelt is off, or "in order."
We can't all work around him, there are plenty of times I can't work with it. But when its' something that takes two minutes to fix, its' quicker are fix it then deal with it.
This morning, I put Jacob's blanket on him as I left for work. He immediately started getting upset. The blanket was bunched up in places and folded in places. So I pulled it tight, straight, and he drifted to sleep again, because his world is once again, in order.
We don't like mud on our hands, or anything gross like that. Or our feet for that matter. Socks don't work on occasion ... and we can completely forget overalls.
Costumes ... another that doesn't go well. Random guy in a bear, or dog, or anything else suit .... we have a meltdown. This includes Santa. In fact, he's terrified of Santa. Last Christmas I had to promise him Santa would not come in his room before he'd go to sleep.
Yet sometimes, it's hard, because all I hear is .. "you just need to be strict with him", "you spoil him" ....
It's hard wired. It's not parenting, it's not me. It's not him. Its' just ... his brain. He's learned so much. Two years ago he just broke down. Now even when he's upset, he can explain the problem, and I can fix it. sometimes we still have problems. But we survive.
Babysitters: ick. Ick. Ick. Ick.
believe it or not ... I have had two good friends tell me, "I'm sorry, but I can't babysit your kids at my place anymore."
Really? No way! Apparently, my kids have problems with people they don't know and meltdowns over things. Especially Jacob. Yes, especially Jacob.
So when I get lucky, like now, to find a friend who likes babysitting my children ... worth more than gold!!!
Anyway, that's my random diatribe on my child. Who by the way, is not spoiled, or a bad child. He just has problems with sensory.
1 comment:
Wow can't believe people think Jacob is a bad child or spoiled. Sorry you have to deal with rude people like that. Bet it's not easy working with Jacob with his sensory problem. Glad you finally know and can help him work out what's going on. Hope you find good babysitters and all. Sending you a great BIG HUG!!
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